Growing up in a community full of French Canadians, it wasn't difficult to see that we all came from the same background, the same bloodlines and the same culture. If you traced these bloodlines, they would lead to the fur trade and old Quebec families, and so in our town there was an invisible divide between who could pass for white, and who couldn't. Most Metis in our community hid their identity, and didn't even say the word "Indian" among their own family, even if everyone knew they were. It's as if by not speaking it, somehow we'd suddenly look white.
In college I found that I more fit into the Italian community, and they thought I was actually Italian too. With all the French Canadians in my village who looked like me, I wondered if the Italians in the area thought that we were actually Italian?
I remember being in Italian homes, and after trying to feed me, they'd ask me if I was Italian. In those days, nobody was saying the word "Indian" because of fear and shame. I'd tell them that I'm a mix of Europeans (French, Scottish, British) even though I knew the truth. I was "part Native American". But the looks on their faces told me they thought I was wrong, or had been adopted.
I remember seeing their confused reactions, and wishing I could clear the air by just saying it... "I'm part Native American!" I mean, what was the big deal? It sounds silly now that the world is so global, and we don't have so much of these barriers in claiming our identity. Thank goodness for science and technology! DNA analysis tells us we all come from Africa. Yes, that's right! Every person on the planet is part black. Kinda hard to let oneself become a white supremacist or skinhead when you find that out. And we all know, DNA does not lie...
But speaking of the days before we all knew about our interracialness, where I was growing up, there was a "look of knowing" in those days -- a look that told you someone had realized it. A look that said "ah... you've got Native American blood...."
Sometimes I would be walking in town and someone who was the same as me would walk by, and we'd give each other that "look of knowing", as if to say "you're part Native American like me." Ironically, while nobody was saying "Indian", we were realizing our commonality -- our bloodlines, our community, our Indianness.
Other times, someone from my family who is visibly very white (ie blue-eyed or blonde or fairly complexioned) would cause people to make assumptions about us, and then eventually lay their eyes on me, and I'd see that "look of knowing" as in, "oh... you guys are part Indian... ahhh... "
Sometimes their attitude had altered and their eyes either showed a "guarding" or "distancing" and you could tell they were now not as welcoming toward us. And isn't that sad? That someone would change their view of me because I'm part Indian? Why would it somehow make me less than I was yesterday? The notion is ridiculous, probably stemming from generations of racism engrained in everyone in North America who grew up watching old western movies, with the stereotypical racist portrayals of Native Americans, or the racist ideas about Native Americans in general, as somehow being drunk and lazy.
As we become a more global community, and educate ourselves about what it is to be Native American, we realize that North America is full of people who are "part". Thousands of people don't know they descend from French Canadians, let alone Native Americans, but it's true.
Native American women, our great grandmothers, helped build the first economy in North America, that of the fur trade. Their hard work has helped this continent be a place we can all enjoy. Their sacrifices went largely unnoticed and unrecorded. The industrious attitude of their descendants, the Metis, has helped build so much infrastructure into the economy, and is something to be very proud of.
More and more, people are finding their native ancestors, so they can get their Metis Status card and show pride in being Metis. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has experienced it, but those versions of that "look of knowing" are disappearing, and are being replaced by today's "look of knowing".
Today's "look of knowing" is full of curiosity and pride. When someone gives that "look of knowing" today, they are hungry for information on how they fit into the definition of "Metis", or how to understand what happened to thousands of families, and become aware of their identity today. They are proud to be Metis, and want to be acknowledged as Metis. That "look of knowing" is now a positive one. Funny how something so small as a look can make us feel so much.
